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Marriage & Divorce

Single and Looking? Envision, Imagine, Believe

In our last column we looked at setting a date for your Plan. You do want to get married and you recognize that you have to set a date by which you will reach your goal and it should not be longer than a year.

Envision, Imagine, Believe

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Did you set your date?  If not, ask yourself Why not?  Did people discourage you or did you allow fear and uncertainty to enter your thought process? Mark Twain said, “You can’t depend on your eyes, if your imagination is out of focus.” I add, you can’t depend on your family and friends for help if your self-belief and your imagination are out of focus.

If you want to get happily married, you need to believe in your ability to be in control of what you want. We all know that anyone can get married if and when she or he wants.  There is always someone looking for a mate. But simply getting married is not what we are interested in here.  The single women of PRiME Women Magazine who want to get married are seeking a happy marriage. This takes work. This takes a plan. This takes a belief in the ability to love and be loved. We possess all of the inner strength, talent, feelings, passion, and ability to control what we set out to do.

Because we have the ability to envision what we want, to set the goal, and to follow up with an action Plan, we can and will meet and marry our “happiness” mate. You’ve set goals in business, even in your personal financial life and have reached them. Why? Because you believed in them and did the hard work to achieve them.

Finding personal happiness is no different. Be clear on what you want, believe in your ability to get it and the universe’s ability to supply it for you, and you will be married, happily within a year.

Believing in yourself and your goal means that you cast out on a daily basis every fear and uncertainty that tries to interfere with your desire to achieve your goal. Your friends will try to instill doubt in you because they do not understand the power of goal-setting and its ability to influence us. Your family may present obstacles that let doubt or fear creep into your life. When these deterrents come up, say to yourself, “This is my goal, this is my life and I have the power to follow my action Plan. Envision, Imagine, Believe is the cocoon in which you must wrap your Plan. Now, let’s get on with your Plan.

Make a Profile of the Kind of Man You Want to Marry

Working desk

What kind of person is the right person for you? What are your expectations? Let’s review what might make sense to you.

  1. What’s the age range? How young or old can he be? Write down a range that might be acceptable to you then examine why you have selected this range. When I had set my Plan at the age of 35, I set the range between 30 and 45. If you are about 60 years of age, is 50 to 70 acceptable to you? If not, why not? What would you set?
  2. Physical characteristics produce the first chemical attraction. What physical characteristics are important to you? Height, weight, race, ethnicity?
  3. Financial stability is a core value for most of us and is the most frequent issue that couples argue about. So what are your expectations? Certainly it would be a grand find if a multi-multimillionaire were to fall in love with you but let’s be reasonable. Is it acceptable for your “happiness” mate to be simply financially stable with very little debt? If you are in your fifties and still working, does he have a job? Are you willing to be the provider?
  4. What values do you hold that are important for your mate to share? Think of integrity, truthfulness, openness, children, and the capacity to love you and yours.

These four areas you’ll examine: age, physical characteristics, finances and values are very basic to beginning your search after you set your date. So for the next couple of weeks draw up the profile of what you want. For more help with your plan pick up a copy of “The Marriage Plan.”

Read Next:

Yuck! When the man on the dating app is married

Scoring The Second Date: 5 Tips You Can’t Afford To Miss

 

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