Do you remember your first sexual experience? Was there foreplay involved?
Let’s see if we’ve gotten this right…. You and the person you liked finally had alone time together. You two started to awkwardly kiss, and hands were fumbling all over the place. You both had no idea what was going on. You were nervous, scared, and excited all at the same time. Next thing you know, it was all over in 5 minutes… Is this bringing back any memories?
You’ve come a long way! We have all come a long way! But there is one area where we can still improve… Foreplay.
What is foreplay?
Foreplay – also known as ‘outercourse’- is any sexual activity before intercourse. However, intercourse does not have to follow. Foreplay can be the main event! Foreplay may include kissing, sensual touching, dirty talk, oral sex, mutual masturbation, or anything that helps you feel pleasure. And let’s be clear, we all have a right to pleasure.
Why is foreplay so important?
Foreplay is so important because it triggers psychological and physical responses to help put you and your partner in the mood. Not to mention, it’s a lot of fun.
When we are sexually aroused, we experience:
- Increased heart rate
- More blood flow to the genitals
- Vaginal lubrication
Even if we find ourselves in the mood, our bodies might need a few moments to catch up. Without foreplay, we might not produce enough lubrication for penetrative sex. And even with foreplay, there still might not be enough lubrication. And that’s okay! However, this can lead to painful sex, and sex should never hurt! To help supplement the body’s natural lubrication, use a high-quality lubricant during foreplay and intercourse.
Tips for foreplay
Whether you are in a long-term relationship or just getting started in a new one, spend some time on the foreplay!
Start outside of the bedroom.
Why save all the fun for the bedroom? Have long, passionate kisses throughout your day and while you run errands. Not into the PDA? No problem. Send your love a flirty text message and let them know that you are looking forward to spending some sexy time with them.
Or maybe you and your partner are having a relaxing day inside. Find a movie or tv show like Sex / Life and act out the sexy scenes together.
Just remember, foreplay can start whenever – and wherever – you want. And can last as long as you want. It’s all about building up excitement or just living in the moment of pleasure.
Talking dirty can be oh-so hot. It can also be oh-so nerve-wracking. So how do you talk dirty? A good place to start is to describe to your partner what you want to do to them during sex and what you want them to do to you. As you get the hang of talking dirty, you can become more descriptive (and maybe a little raunchy), and don’t forget to be confident!
Introduce sex toys
Did you know 82% of women own sex toys? Sex toys are a great option to enhance foreplay. Sex toys come in many shapes and sizes and are designed for different pleasures. If you are new to sex toys, the options can be overwhelming. Narrow your search and look for bullet vibrators and wand vibrators. These vibrators make great introductory toys to boost pleasure. Use them during foreplay to stimulate erogenous zones like the clitoris. Bullet vibrators can also be used on your male partners by gently running them along the shaft of the penis and around the testicles.
Perhaps a shopping trip with your partner will encourage some creative thinking when shopping around for sex toys; the material of your sex toy matters! Some materials are not safe for the body, like rubber, jelly, and vinyl, because they contain a chemical component called phthalate that can be harmful. Instead, ensure your sex toy is made with 100% medical-grade silicone, stainless steel, or glass.
We often find ourselves rushing through foreplay, but we challenge you to take things slow next time. Completely immerse yourself in foreplay and all that it has to offer. Get creative with your partner and focus on the journey and not the destination.