We’ve all been there. Faced with a decision, a fork in the road, a moment when the choice feels weightier than just “yes” or “no.” Too often, we make decisions based on the person we hope to be someday—bold, fearless, ultra-fit, wildly successful—rather than the person we are right now.
And that, more often than not, is the birthplace of regret.
Why We Chase the Fantasy Version of Ourselves
It’s natural to envision a better, shinier version of ourselves. We’re encouraged to dream big, to strive, to evolve. However, when decision-making hinges on fantasy rather than reality, it sets an impossible standard.
- We take on commitments we can’t (or don’t truly want to) sustain.
- We sign up for roles or relationships that drain rather than fulfill us.
- We ignore our real talents, needs, and boundaries in favor of an imagined “ideal.”
When the fantasy eventually collides with reality, regret creeps in—not because we lacked ambition, but because we didn’t honor who we actually are in the first place.
Making Decisions from a Place of Authenticity
The real key to avoiding regret isn’t about shrinking your dreams; it’s about grounding them in authenticity.
Here’s how:
1. Do a Reality Check
Before making any major decision, ask: “Is this choice aligned with who I am today?” Not the version of yourself after six months of daily yoga, French classes, and running marathons—today.
Honoring your current strengths, limits, passions, and priorities is an act of courage, not limitation.
2. Separate Growth from Fantasy
Growth is essential. But real growth builds on a foundation of truth, not illusion. Choose opportunities that stretch you a bit beyond your comfort zone—not ones that require you to become a different person overnight.
3. Accept Your Real Desires
Sometimes, we feel pressure to want things we don’t actually want—whether it’s climbing the corporate ladder, hosting elaborate social events, or living in the perfect house.
It’s okay to not want what looks impressive from the outside. Genuine joy comes from owning your true desires without apology.
4. Recognize That “Good Enough” Can Be Great
When decisions align with your authentic self, they may not always look flashy or impressive—but they feel right. And feeling right will always outlast looking good.
A Simple Test to Guide You
When you’re stuck on a decision, try this:
Imagine you’ve made the choice. Now, picture explaining it to your best friend.
- Does your explanation feel rooted, clear, and true?
- Or does it feel defensive, performative, or a little too rehearsed?
Trust the feeling. Your gut often knows when you’re operating from authenticity—and when you’re chasing a version of yourself that doesn’t exist (yet).
Bottom Line
Avoiding regret isn’t about playing it small. It’s about playing it true.
When you make decisions based on who you are—not who you wish you were—you create a life that feels solid, fulfilling, and joyful.
And that, at the end of the day, is a life worth celebrating.
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