When you are newly single after 50, dating can make you feel like a teenager all over again. For example, how do you get a guy to kiss you? When you’ve been out of practice for a long time, even the basics can be tricky. But it’s not something that should cause you undue stress… the fact of the matter is, we’ve gotten wiser as we’ve gotten older, and when the time is right (and the guy is right), it’ll happen naturally.
Still, if you’re worried about that first kiss with a new beau, we’ve included ten sure-fire ways to nudge him into giving you exactly what you want and so rightly deserve: that all-important very first kiss.
But I’ll say it anyway: Don’t force yourself on him. If your gut tells you he doesn’t want to kiss you, don’t push the issue and risk humiliation. His consent and excitement to kiss you are important and make the act enjoyable. And for the love of god, make sure he’s single first!
First off, make sure your lips are fine and dandy. Nobody wants to kiss a cold sore, chapped lips, or layers of sticky lipstick. Brush your teeth and tongue, and don’t forget to floss. Gargle. Maybe throw some mints and gum into your purse for good measure.
A dash of lipstick and some subtle puckering is a good place to start. Try putting your hand over your mouth when you laugh (preferably at something funny he says). You can also bite the tip of your finger when he asks a thought-provoking question – as if you are pondering an answer. Or lightly bite those beautiful lips when chatting him up, so he takes notice. Eating lickable foods – ice cream, popsicles, a juicy peach, etc., are tried and true attention grabbers.
Get close to him. If it’s chilly outside, try “I’m so cold,” and snuggle in a little. If you aren’t outside… get outside, or find an air conditioner. Whisper something in his ear, or go for the tried and true lean in and pick an eyelash off his cheek. He doesn’t need to know there’s no eyelash in sight. If you can get him alone, all of the above double in effectiveness.
Eye contact plays a big part in getting a man to kiss you. He likes to know you’re invested in him and what he’s saying. But lips have the starring role. Look into his dreamy eyes while the two of you are talking, then gradually slip your focus to his mouth. Fixate on his gorgeous lips, then back to his eyes, then his lips again, etc. Then pucker up because a kiss is on its way.
Body language can send strong unconscious messages. First off, you want him to be physically comfortable with you. Make sure your body posture is open and relaxed – don’t slouch. Uncross those arms. Don’t hold your purse in front of you. If you are standing, make sure you are facing his direction. Then play with your hair. Use both hands to hold it off your neck, “My goodness, it’s hot.” Play with your necklace. Or tip your head to the side. Just like with eye contact, your body language is an indicator that you are interested in what he’s saying or something more. You’re not going to get a guy to kiss you if you look distracted and uninterested. Playing hard to get has become a widely unpopular tactic that confuses and disheartens people more than it attracts them.
Close the gap between you, so he doesn’t have far to go to make contact with your lips. This will show him you’re interested. Then tilt your head up (or down, depending on the height situation), and lean in a little to let him know you are ready, willing, and able.
Show him that it’s okay to get physical with you – that you, in fact, want him to. The “touch barrier” is that invisible line that gets drawn between two people. Delicately cross that line! Lightly touch his arm when you laugh, accidentally brush his hand, and if you are sitting next to him, make sure your legs are touching.
Let the idea of a kiss loose in the room. Put it out there in conversation. “When was your first kiss?” Ask him how he rates himself in the kissing department. Compliment his lips. Go ahead and make him blush. Maybe even tease him about the fact that he hasn’t kissed you yet. As with incorporating a friendly touch every once in a while, working kissing into the conversation will break down more of those little barriers and potentially get a guy to kiss you!
Some men don’t get the hint, no matter how hard you hit them on the head. Or maybe they’re just as anxious about a kiss as you may be. This is where you may as well just ask him to kiss you. As aforementioned, consent is important and makes the experience enjoyable! Men, and most people in general, love it when you are direct. Don’t play games; be open. “When are you going to kiss me?” Personally, with a dose of two martinis confidence, my go-to line is, “Do you want to kiss me?” The answer is always yes. Sometimes a gal needs to be direct. Bear in mind that the answer could be no. And if it is, no worries! There are plenty of other frogs who need kissing.
When all else fails… graze his hand with yours. Give him your best “come hither” look. Stare at his eyes, his lips, his eyes, his lips. Stay on the lips, and after telling him how kissable they are, tilt your head, slowly lean on in… and do it!