Chances are you never thought you’d be dating as a woman over 50. Right? Dating was for young people. In fact, for most of us, that was the last time we went on a date.
Yet, here we are today having to put in place a skill we haven’t used in eons. Navigating the dating world isn’t always easy. In fact, it can be quite hard to figure out what really works and what is a myth about dating at our age.
And that’s why I want to share 5 dating after 50 myths that continually affect women’s love lives keeping them from finding the right man. I don’t want to see that happen to you.
Myth #1: Thinking a Man Is Going to Be Your Best Friend
Let’s get really clear about this. Communication with a man isn’t the same as it is with your girlfriends. Emotionally healthy men will be your best friend by keeping you safe, protected and provided for. He will do his best to fix anything that makes your life easier for you. To a man, his actions speak far louder than his words. His actions are how he shows you he loves you.
As women, we love talking because the same hormone that gives you an orgasm is the same one that is released when you talk. It’s why women verbally process everything. It feels good.
Men on the other hand preserve their words and can be quiet at times. Not talking about life the way you would with your friends doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. He does. He just doesn’t want to get involved in long conversations about things he has no interest in.
When you share involved and complicated stories about your friend’s and their families, a man can’t keep track of the point you are trying to make. Unless it’s about you and taking care of you in some way, his eyes glaze over. This is why it’s so important to have girlfriends who will happily process anything with you over your favorite martini or glass of wine.
Myth #2: You Must Have Initial Chemistry
What’s the most important thing you look for when you first meet a man? Is it chemistry or attraction? If you said, “yes” than you aren’t alone. Many women use this as the basis for knowing whether or not a man is the right one for them. Chemistry is amazing but it isn’t sustainable. Without a friendship, no matter how much chemistry you have, the relationship can’t stand up to the test of time.
My honey and I did not have immediate chemistry. I thought he was cute but the zing was not there. He seemed really nice so when he asked me out again, I said yes. We created an amazing friendship and over time the chemistry did kick in. But had I used immediate chemistry as the barometer for deciding if he was the one, I’d have missed a really great guy and a really great relationship with someone who absolutely loves and adores me.
Do yourself a favor. If a man is nice, give him a chance. It may take a couple of dates for the chemistry to kick in, but you could find as you’re waiting that you’re dating a really good man.
Myth #3: It’s OK to Change Men to Bring Out Their Best
NOT!!!!!! One of men’s biggest pet peeves is about women who are always trying to change them whether it’s the clothes they wear, the food they eat or how they do their job.
One of the coolest things about emotionally healthy men is they love you exactly how you are. That’s because men fall in love with the real you. But women fall in love with men’s potential then try to fix him up to be his best. If you don’t like who a man as he is, let him go and move on to a man you do like.