When you’re single during the holidays, you can feel pretty lonely and isolated. Watching your friends celebrate the holidays with their significant other while you’re at home by yourself can cause you to feel pretty disconnected from the rest of the world.
There were times in my life that it felt like I was the only one of all my friends who was left out of the holiday cheer. I’d have a major pity party going on in my head about how I was single during the holidays and no one seemed to care about that.
Over time, I started to recognize that I was telling myself a story about how the holiday was supposed to look based on watching Hallmark Christmas movies. I’m sure you’ve seen them. Boy meets girl before the holidays. They have chemistry but she doesn’t really like him. He tries to get her attention but nothing works until the day he sweeps in and saves her from some big catastrophe. She suddenly sees him as her Prince Charming, falls in love and they live happily ever after.
Romance movies like these are adorable but they can set you up to feel miserable and alone if you use them as your barometer for what the holidays should look like. This year, try giving yourself a break and enjoy being single during the holidays in a new way – celebrating you!
The 3 tips I’m going to share with you got me through the holiday doldrums and I know they can for you too. So let’s get started on shifting your holiday mindset from men and being part of a couple to celebrating you. When you do, the holidays become a time you look forward to versus a time of feeling blue and lonely.
Often times you feel guilty giving to yourself yet, I know you wouldn’t think twice about doing it for your kids or grand kids, right? Why should you think twice about giving to you? You’re so worth it!
I used to take this time to pamper myself. I’d go get a massage or a manicure and pedicure. Or I’d buy something I wanted without feeling guilty. This is a time to take care of you and to really celebrate how amazing you are. When you do, it feels really good.
When I was single, I loved hanging with my single girlfriends. I still love hanging with them and do my best to make plans at least once a week to have lunch or dinner with a girlfriend. We would choose a special place we’d always wanted to go to and just have fun. We splurged on our favorite drinks and had a great meal laughing and talking about everything happening in our lives.
You can have this fun in your life too. Start by making a list of every single and married woman you know. These are women you love going out and sharing girlfriend time with. You want to do this now versus when you’re overly anxious to make plans to just get out of the house. When you’re feeling desperate, your mind will go blank trying to figure this out which leaves you feeling more lonely and disconnected.
Next, text or call them to see if they are free to go to a movie or dinner. I used to do this all the time and my friends were thrilled because they too were feeling kind of lonely hanging out at home alone.
We’d find something fun to do which was so much better than hanging out at home by ourselves watching Netflix movies. So make that list then get yourself out of the house and into the holiday cheer and have some fun with a good friend.
Years ago, my cousin and I went on a cruise together. We planned it during the holidays when both of us were feeling kind of low. Two months later, we were on a ship heading to the blue waters of the Caribbean. We had a blast and what was really awesome was we got to go on a vacation – something most single women don’t do when they’re not with a man.
The holiday times can still be a fun time even if you’re single. Get pro-active. Make plans with friends. Try volunteering. Nothing feels better than giving during this holiday season. Check out Meet-up.com. They have a lot of activities happening on Christmas Day and New Years Eve.
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