The Royal Wedding: Princess Lessons

Royal Wedding

According to the New York Times, we are living in a Golden Age of Anglophilia. Rising anticipation of the Royal Wedding here in the US is reaching fever pitch as we prepare to see not only an American, but a bi-racial/divorcee/actress become a princess. Well, if not officially Princess Meghan, at least the Duchess of Sussex in name.

Thanks to Disney, many of us grew up daydreaming of becoming a princess. Marrying a prince, living in a castle, wearing beautiful clothes and jewels…  but as princes aren’t exactly thick on the ground, for most of us that dream did not come true.

That makes Meghan’s future all that much more exciting for us as we hear about her “training” to become a Royal. (If you haven’t seen The Princess Diaries movie, you’ve missed out on what sounds like a pretty accurate portrayal of Princess Lessons.)

Princess Lessons

In anticipation of the Royal Wedding, and her new role, Meghan has been required to master the intracacies of the silver service – she must be able to tell a fish knife from a butter knife, know how to handle seafood and drink soup. (You are supposed to spoon it away from you, not toward you.)

She has been taught how to curtsy properly, as she will be required to do when she meets those who rank above her.

Meghan has been taking elocution lessons to soften her accent, and has been tutored in British terminology. Think “trousers” instead of “pants,” “trainers” versus “sneakers” and “crisps” versus “potato chips.”

She has already begun putting to rest “brand Meghan,” in favor of her new Royal role, deleting her social media accounts, wearing “natural looking” nail polish, and never being seen in public without stockings.

No doubt, the press and eyes from all over the world will be on her every move as Meghan makes this enormous transition. It’s a lot to take on, even with a background in acting and celebrity. Already, her family has been disrupted. It was just announced that Prince Charles will be walking her down the aisle instead of her father.

The Final Preparations

All is in readiness. The British Troops have rehearsed their role, parading through the streets of Windsor. The cake is ready for assembly. Meghan’s manicurist is scheduled and she’s had the final dress fitting. (The dress is rumored to cost $135,000.) The designer has yet to be revealed, but bets are placed on – Ralph & Russo (7/4), Alexander McQueen (3/1), Erdem (5/1), Steve Parvin (6/1) and Roland Mouret (13/2). We will soon know who was right. I’m hoping for Ralph & Russo myself.

Here’s how to watch every minute live in the US. I’m already planning the tea and cucumber sandwiches for my Royal Wedding viewing party at (gulp) 4:00 AM CDT.

Cheers to the Royal Couple. May they live happily ever after.

<Royal wave>


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