If you have been following this column, you have set your goal to get married, determined a date within the limits of a year, developed the profile of the man you want to marry, and have started looking. So let’s review by answering some questions;
Are you on track? If not, why not?
- Have you been dating? What are the results of your efforts?
- Have you met anyone online? Have you told your friends that you want to get married within the next year?
- Have you selected a dear friend to support you? Do you discuss your progress with her?
- Are you confident that there is a man who fits your profile that you will marry?
Have you slipped back into the Cinderella complex, expecting a prince on a white horse without the work it takes to find someone you can spend the rest of your life with? At this point in your life you know that marriage takes work for both people – eHarmony Advice article Dating in your 50s. So does preparing to find the right person to come into your life. So let’s get on with the plan. I’m a firm believer that unless you put your goal out there in the universe, it will be a useless secret. The universe cannot help you without your believing in yourself. Your friends will be there to support you if you let them.
Some rules for the dating cycle
The dating cycle should be short. This has always been the case with previous generations but today most people believe in years of dating, then living together, then marriage. This cycle has only given us a very high divorce rate – MatchmakerOfTheCentury.
Don’t date partial profilers. It’s a waste of precious time. You may need a couple of dates to decide if a man fits your profile. When you meet someone who is a possibility, you will probably first react to the chemistry between you. When the chemistry is good, it’s important to focus on the important elements in your profile.
Don’t play games. If you have any inkling that he is playing games, discuss it or forget him. Being hard to get is no longer a rule that works. You are looking for honesty that will last through the marriage. You are looking for fidelity in your life partner. If he doesn’t call you immediately or set another time for a date, either call him or cross him off your list. He may come back later but don’t waste time worrying about him. If he isn’t willing to pursue your relationship, let that be a sign you should move on without pursuing him.
Be open and direct. After a few dates and things have clicked for both of you, you must tell him that your intention is to get married and have a loving, permanent relationship. You are in the dating game to get married, not just to fool around. This is very difficult but you must be confident that you have the courage to say what has to be said so that you don’t waste time. The longer you wait to do this, the harder it will become to break it off if he does not share that goal. You know what you want.
Isn’t love just supposed to happen?
You must be thinking that this all sounds so calculating. Falling in love with the right person takes our brain as well as our heart. Yes, falling in love is the essential core of choosing a marriage partner. But if we fall in love with someone who doesn’t want what we want, then we are on a downward spiral and we will not marry our soul mate, the love of our life, the partner for future happiness – thedivaofdating.com.
And what about sex. As you know at this stage in your life, men and women look at sex differently. For our male counterparts sex is first and foremost physical release. For us women sex is a feeling of belonging. It is more emotional and demonstrates a deeper connection. This is especially true after we have fallen in love. For these reasons it is important to refrain from intercourse until you know there is a serious commitment on his part. But be up front. Tell him how you feel. Has he expressed commitment to working on your relationship so that you both can see if marriage is right for you? Is he willing to be exclusive? – Flirting, compliments and waiting for sex: 6 rules for dating after 50. You are totally in control of whether this relationship is what you want. Sex needs to be on your terms and you should decide when you have a commitment and you are ready to welcome him totally into your life through sex.