Following her husband’s death, Lore Powell, PRiME contributor, kept a journal she refers to as “The Grief Project.” She is graciously allowing us to share her entries with you, our readers.
Today marks the one month anniversary of my husband’s death. In general, I don’t like to keep track of these type of milestones, but I somehow see it as my road map for the future. What have I accomplished this past month? What did I learn? How did I do? By seeing it as a project plan for the future, I anticipate and hope for relief from the pain. When will I accomplish sleeping through the night? When will I stop looking for his car in the driveway? When will I stop excusing myself from meetings when the realization that I will never see him again crushes me and brings me to my knees? In order to stay sane, I plan my “project” milestones. I gather goals and I work towards them, using the end of each month as my completion date.
By the end of the month, I’d like to do the following:
OK…..Whoa…I’m getting a little carried away. Currently, just getting out of the house in pants seems like I’m winning.
If you see me in the next month, please remind me of this checklist. I can be a slacker…as confirmed during the last snowfall. A sincere thank you to the person who shoveled my drive. I’m embarrassed to say that the thought did cross my mind that it would all melt in the spring. I promise…I will do better.