Breaking up is hard to do, and when it happens your life gets turned upside down and inside out. Your heart is breaking and needs both time and nurturing to heal. I want to share 3 steps for getting through a breakup that will make the journey of healing and opening your heart to love again a little easier for you.
Step 1: Take time to grieve and mourn the ending of a relationship.
Sometimes we resist this step thinking we should be over the breakup already. There’s a saying that goes, what you resist…persists. And when it persists, that makes it harder for you to heal.
The best gift you can give yourself is to acknowledge your sadness and your grief. It’s a major step for healing your heart. Let the tears flow. Don’t hold back or try to push away how you’re feeling. It’s normal to feel sad. Should the sadness get too heavy, get help from a counselor or a trusted friend to help you cope.
Step 2: Take some time to just nurture you.
As women, we are so good at giving to everyone but ourselves. When you’re in emotional pain, this is the time to take care of you. When my ex and I separated, a friend suggested we go to a spa and get massages. It felt so good to let go and just allow someone else to take care of me.
Journaling is a great way to get clarity on the breakup and what your next steps are going to be. As women, we need a place to dump our feelings. Friends are great to have when getting through a breakup, but they aren’t around 24/7. Your journal will help you process everything you’re going through any moment of the day. You can buy beautiful journals on Amazon, at bookstores or even at TJ Maxx.
This is also a time to gather your friends and splurge on an amazing lunch or dinner. The night of my divorce, my friends and I went to one of my favorite restaurants. Endings are tough even if you’re okay with the breakup and having the love of my friends surrounding me that night was so healing.
Here’s a link to a wonderful template called My Nurturing Calendar. It will help you set up fun and loving ways you can take care of you. Click here to get yours.
Step 3: Take some time to rediscover “You” again.
When you’re in a relationship, often times his interests become yours and yours become his. A blending happens and you forget your own passions and dreams. This is a great time to write a list of things you’ve wanted to do but haven’t had time for in the past.
I took a class in watercolor techniques and ended up creating some really nice paintings. I also met other single women I could go to lunch and dinner with so I wasn’t alone on the weekends.
Check out Meetup.com. I love games and went to a weekly game night. They also have hiking groups and all kinds of groups for men and women over 50 interested in making new friends. There is a Meetup for just about any activity you can imagine. It’s a great way to have fun, rediscover your passions and make new friends.
All these steps can help you remember and get back in touch with the amazing, passionate woman you are as you are getting through a breakup and healing your heart. There will be tough days, but over time, as you heal, each day your heart will open a little more to the possibilities of finding love again.
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