Sex is good. Sex is fun. Sex is sexy. But sex is also a complex part of life and goes through changes over time. As we age, our attitudes towards sex and sexual experiences often evolve. The topic of sex over 50 for us gals encompasses a variety of perspectives, experiences, and considerations. So, while sex is good, fun, and sexy, there may also be challenges and drawbacks associated with post-menopausal sex. Like any subject, it has its pros and cons, influenced by various factors such as health, emotional well-being, and societal attitudes.
Negatives
Physical Changes
Hormonal fluctuations and changes in genital health can affect sexual desire and pleasure. Your libido may dip, or you may have issues with arousal and lubrication, which can lead to discomfort during sex. If you’re dealing with these issues, speak with your doctor about reasonable solutions.
Mental and Emotional Changes
Your hormones, specifically estrogen and progesterone, change during menopause. This change could cause feelings of anxiety and depression, as well as mood swings. Hormone-induced hot flashes can cause insomnia. Not to mention the general upset some of us feel over losing our periods. If you’re down in the dumps for more than two weeks, consider reaching out to your doctor or a therapist.
Life Happens
Your kids have grown, your parents are elderly, your nest is empty. You’ve put on some weight, your roots are gray, and you can’t stop obsessing over those thin, tiny lines around your lips. Life has completely changed. You have completely changed. Insecurity, shifting life scenarios, and life, in general, can push sex to the bottom of your ever-growing list of reasons not to have sex.
Relationship Issues
You may find that the sexual needs and desires of you and your mate are running in different directions. While some people might experience an increased libido, others may face a decline in their interest in sex. This disparity can create tension in relationships which is not sexy.
Societal Attitudes
Needless to say, stereotypes surrounding aging and sexuality can be a buzz kill. Sexuality in mature women is either ignored or written off completely – the menopause myth perpetuating the notion that our entire purpose in life is merely to make babies. This ageism and the perception that sex is primarily a concern for the young can result in feelings of shame or inadequacy for us women of a certain age.
Health Considerations
There are health issues that may impact sexual activity for post-menopausal women. Chronic health conditions and physical limitations can pose challenges to having sex comfortably. Further, some medications can lower your libido. It is essential that women prioritize their health and well-being and, when necessary, speak to their doctor in order to find answers. They’re out there!
Positives
Increased Confidence and Sexual Freedom
Remember those awkward 20-something sexual encounters? After menopause, women are much more likely to know what they want and how to ask for it. We are more comfortable in our skin. We have an increased sexual awareness of our bodies and accept and appreciate the miracles that they are. And all our life experiences and knowledge contribute to a deeper understanding of our desires and ourselves, fostering a more fulfilling sexual life.
Spontaneity
Inhibitions disappear with the freedom that comes with sex without the worry of pregnancy. (Although condoms are still necessary if you are not monogamous. STDs are ageless.) This newfound liberation can positively impact sexual experiences, leading to more satisfying intimate connections.
Improved Intimacy
Couples who have been together for a long time may have developed a level of trust and understanding that can make sex even better. Important conversations about desires, boundaries, and sexual preferences become easier, making for an environment of mutual satisfaction. And let’s not forget that magic love hormone, oxytocin, that gets released during sex, making partners feel more bonded.
Health Benefits
Sex over fifty is good for you! Regular sexual activity has been linked to improved cardiovascular health, weight loss, and overall well-being. Hormones released by sex boost oxytocin and lower cortisol, while orgasms release prolactin. The result is a deeper, more satisfying sleep. Biochemicals, like adrenaline and dopamine, are shown to stimulate awareness, cognitive functioning, and mood. Studies have found that older adults who have more sex have better memories.
Stress Relief
Menopausal mood swings are the worst. You can go from happy-go-lucky to tears in the blink of an eye, elevating your stress levels. Sex is a natural stress reliever, soothing anxiety like a warm blanket. Further, touching and hugging release the yummy hormones that promote feelings of relaxation and contentment.
Vaginal Health
When you orgasm, your pelvic floor muscles contract making them stronger and potentially alleviating some symptoms associated with menopause – such as the dreaded vaginal dryness. The blood flow produced by sex will keep the delicate tissues of your lady bits moist and supple, healthy, and happy.
Let’s face it: for women over fifty, sex can be a complex and nuanced topic. So, when problems arise, don’t be afraid to talk with your provider about it. There are solutions to every problem. In the end, to hell with ageism. With good communication, exploration, and a nice jar of coconut oil, sex can be better than ever!
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