Whether you just met her a few weeks ago or have been pals for years, you’re at the end of your rope. The friendship is no longer a kinship. In fact, sometimes it’s sheer torture. Maybe she’s still hung-up on a long-ago breakup and still endlessly drones on about it, maybe whenever you try to share what’s going on in your world she interrupts with her own “similar experience”, maybe her “look what I just bought” obsession has gotten out of control… again.
Whatever the reason, this platonic friendship breakup will have many of the same ear marks of a romantic one.
When this dilemma rears its ugly head, it’s a potential mine field: loss of mutual friends, perhaps your very personal info exposed to other people, or just a huge scene with her that you have to grit your teeth through. Then there’s the guilt. Oh, Lord, the guilt. “OMG, how can I be so ungrateful, cruel, intolerant, just plain disloyal?” On an emotional level, you’re just plain mad, but your spiritual side may be saying, “Shouldn’t I be more loving/evolved/self-actualized than this? If the Dalai Lama hears about this, he’s going to be sooo embarrassed for me.” Look, it is what it is. Beating yourself up is not going to help the situation.
So, let’s break this down: just like in romantic situations, there are two brands of break-ups.
The recently formed gal-pal-ship is easier:
The longtime relationship is similar to a romantic situation:
Look, if the “debriefing” doesn’t go well, you have to realize that some of your friends may feel that you are being harsh, unreasonable or just plain mean. This is where you have to just power through. This is a good time to hit MeetUp.com to find new groups to add to your calendar. New groups equal a larger circle of pals for some of your interests you’ve been putting off pursuing.
In short, while a friendship breakup usually doesn’t happen as often as a romantic one (unfortunately) happen, it can sometimes take some time and effort to get back in the groove. Be kind to yourself, girl. Breaking up is hard to do.
Subscribe today for free to receive our weekly update and never miss an article.