In my younger years, being single afforded me the freedom to go and do almost anything I chose. Later on, I traded the single life for marriage and family. That too was great even with the challenges. And, who knew that years later circumstances would find me again living single.
Eventually, I became very comfortable with my lifestyle of being single and happy! Still, something seemed to be missing. I didn’t have a problem venturing out by myself, traveling or curling up on the sofa with a book. Sure, I could laugh and cry, and press the rewind on the remote as often as I wanted, but it was not the same as sometimes being able to share these moments with others. I realized what was missing was the physical connection and communication with friends outside of my daily work life.
Watching my friends, my children and their spouses carry on with their lives made me long for those days to fit in. Of course, people invited me to gatherings but I turned them down because they were always coupled up. Besides, I was happy and single and didn’t ever want to appear lonely and desperate. Maybe I was afraid they would try to set me up with a blind date that could threaten to take away my freedom of being a couch potato.
Stuck in the Middle
One day I got an invitation to attend an event with some co-workers and this time I decided to say yes, only because I knew they would keep asking. Fortunately, I was joining them on one of my most favorite things to do and that was attending art festivals. So, I went on the outing with them and their spouses. I felt so awkward being stuck in the middle. Then something happened! I really was having a great time! The laughter, the conversations, the positive vibes felt wonderful. Not only was I enjoying their company, they were enjoying me being there. Soon the invitations became more regular. Though oftentimes I still was the only single person tagging along I got used to it. I didn’t mind being the third wheel as this became an extra benefit added to my single and happy life. I had found the missing link which was balance!
Life Happens
Well, wouldn’t you know it, because of the coronavirus pandemic, life happened again and I find myself having to distance myself from my friends. Well, at least temporarily until things change. Even with this sudden change, I have managed to stay somewhat connected and maintain my happiness and independence. I must admit that I thoroughly enjoy being happy and single, yet it is very important that I remain open to other opportunities. This keeps me well rounded.
How I Remain Positive
- Engage in online virtual chat groups and exercise groups (something I thought I would NEVER do)
- Never be afraid to be yourself which allows others to see the real you which creates opportunities to meet other individuals
- It’s okay to be tag-a-along… this can be full of surprises!
- Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try new things (like karaoke, this is so fun)!
- A happy single life can give you peace just by enjoying your me-time
- Be willing to interact with different groups (i.e married, young, old, artsy, etc.)
- FaceTime or Zoom your long-distance girlfriends and have a dance party
Don’t Worry be Happy!
I find that as we grow older and with so much going on around us, sometimes the thought of needing that special someone to make us feel complete or secure creeps in. Someone to grow older with… and this is okay. However, in actuality, it is more of a want than a need. Maybe it could be pressure from our peers. Hey ladies, I’m here to tell you… if your prince charming comes along and sweeps you off your feet, then, of course, be open to the new experience. Go for it! Nonetheless, until then while you wait on your knight in shiny armor, don’t worry relax and enjoy being single and happy!
