Recently, I was working on a 1,000-piece puzzle with a gorgeous view of an Italian coastal community. (Stay with me, this does have to do with finding love and over 50 dating.) I chose the puzzle for two reasons. I love anything that has to do with water. And going to the coast of Italy is on my bucket list. (By the way, creating a bucket list, whether you are single or in a relationship, makes life far more fun and gives you something to always look forward to.) Okay… back to the puzzle and what this has to do with finding love after 50.
I was so excited to get this thing started. I grabbed my favorite cup of green tea and began looking for the flat edges of the puzzle. Finding them turned out to be a lot harder than I originally thought it would be.
I found myself both frustrated and overwhelmed. Those edges were hidden amongst all the pieces and I wasn’t able to find them. It felt like what had started out as fun wasn’t so fun anymore and I was ready to put it all back in the box and quit.
That’s when an “Aha!” moment happened. I realized I needed a plan that would make putting this puzzle together enjoyable while keeping the level of frustration and overwhelm down.
As I’m sure you know, over 50 dating can be overwhelming and frustrating too. Starting out, you’re really excited as you look at some of the more interesting men online. You share emails with a couple of them and even meet a few. But you quickly get frustrated because the men you want to meet aren’t contacting you. Or the men you do meet aren’t who they say they are. Right?
What happens is you want to quit and give up on your dream of finding love after 50. This happened to me too. So what did I do to keep going in the dating world? I created a 3 Step Plan that motivated me and kept me moving forward whenever either frustration or overwhelm threatened to take me out of the over 50s game. It also led me to meeting my guy so I know this same plan can help you find love after 50 too.
Step #1… Try a new dating site if the old one isn’t working
I remember feeling like I was seeing the same faces and the same pictures over and over again when I was dating. What really amazed me was how old some of these pictures were. I first started dating in my late 40s. After a two-year relationship and a two-year marriage, I was amazed at how many men had the same pics online from when I’d first started. This is a tip for your over 50 dating…change your pictures after every relationship!
Seeing the same faces makes you think no one is out there to date. Lots of men are, but you might have to go to a new dating site to find them. When joining the new site, only sign up for ONE month. This will help you see if there are enough paid members who can contact you. I always recommend my clients be on two dating sites at a time. BTW… You can find good men on both free and paid sites.
Step #2…. Make a list of 26 places you can meet single men
Men are everywhere, yet most women don’t know where to look for them. Here’s a tip for how you can find 26 places you might not have thought of before now to meet new men in your local area. Start by making a list of letters from A-Z. Next write any local spots that start with that letter. Like: A = Airport. Tons of men travel every day around the world. Continue filling out the list then commit to visiting at least two every week. I teach women all the time how to flirt and talk the language men speak and hear.
Step #3….Take breaks from dating
When you’re feeling either overwhelmed or frustrated, it’s pretty hard to have fun with over 50 dating. This is the time to hide your profile and focus on just you for a while. Nurture yourself again. Get back in touch with what feels loving and comforting to you.
Hang out with those male friends you’ve made along the way. It feels nice being around male energy. It’s fun and there is absolutely no pressure to figure out if he’s the one for you.
This time is a gift to you. Enjoy yourself and don’t go back online or into the real world to look for love after 50 until you’ve recharged.
Put this 3-step plan for over 50 dating in place and watch how taking breaks gets you excited again about dating. Next, try a new dating site. Create your list and make sure you’re regularly going to one of the 26 places to flirt and meet men in your local area. Your new 3 Step Plan is going to give you exposure to more men and the more men you meet, the closer you are to finding the right one for you.