Although Cupid’s intentions are pure, he causes a lot of anxiety each year. Especially for the single crowd. Instead of celebrating love, or the mere possibility of it, Valentine’s Day gets a bad rap. “Singles Awareness Day” becomes the most dreaded day of the year for those not spoken for, cluttered with tattered hearts and boxes of tissues.

This year, let’s switch our mindset and embrace the day with gratitude.

Now that I have the viewpoint of being joyfully in love with myself, I can look at this day with a whole new perspective. Here is what I see:

Valentine’s Day can be a day of powerful change, a starting point for a new direction. It can be the day you pause, take a look in the mirror and commit to answering the question that you’ve been pondering in your heart: “Do I truly wish to share my life with someone?”

If your answer is “yes” and you’re able to acknowledge that in order to do that YOU need to do something different…then I know the very next step you can take: Fall in Love with Yourself.

Rather than dwelling over the man who is not (yet) in your life, make February 14 all about you and getting exactly what you want for your future.

If you want to attract that incredible man and say goodbye to being single or settling for men because they want you, your place to start is by focusing on YOU.

This is not about remaking yourself or acting like someone you’re not. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. This is about sitting down for some honest self-reflection, showing yourself some kindness celebrating yourself.

An exercise I do with my private coaching clients, and the foundation of my coaching, starts with: Who Am I? Falling in Love with Myself. I invite you to do the same exercise:

To help you fall in love with yourself, list all the things you love about yourself.

This concept is difficult for most women. Truthfully, how often are we asked to look at our fabulousness, not to mention actually state it out loud?

If you can’t recognize why you’re amazing, you won’t be able to convey it to a man.

Most women come up with the usual things to start: “I’m smart, I’m independent, I’m a good mom, I have great hair.” Then they hit a brick wall.

The key to really experiencing this exercise: You don’t have to be solving world peace to consider yourself wonderful, worthy and special. Things like being a good friend, being someone people can count on, the ability to handle life’s ups and downs, raising good children… these are all attributes you can shamelessly love about yourself.

If you don’t consider these things to be worth much, think about it this way: what do you want in a partner? Is kindness, commitment, good humor, or intelligence somewhere on your list? These seemingly little things count in a big way. I promise you, in some form or another, they are traits you possess.

I once heard a man say, “If a woman doesn’t love herself, why should I love her?”

It’s the right thing to ask. Respect is key to our grownup relationships—and that begins with self-respect. Would you want a man who didn’t appear to love himself?

When was the last time you truly focused solely on yourself? Have you ever asked yourself, “What makes me a good person worthy of love?” If you haven’t, it’s time. Because if you don’t know the answer, men won’t know it either.

Don’t make this Valentine’s Day about what you don’t have or about men. Make it about yourself and what’s yet to come. Don’t put this off another year. Mark your calendar, make your plans and get ready to fall in love with yourself and achieve that image of ideal happiness you’ve kept in the back of your head for so long. Make February 14 the day you fall in love with yourself!

You’re invited to my special Valentine’s FREE Master Class on Sunday, February 11, 2018, 8 p.m. EST.

“DISCOVER HOW SMART, SUCCESSFUL WOMEN OVER 40 ATTRACT SMART, SUCCESSFUL MEN: 5 ESSENTIAL STEPS TO HAVE THE RELATIONSHIP YOU DESERVE.”

If you want to find out if you’re affected by the emotional blind spot that affects smart, successful women and what you can do about it to instantly change your results with men, register for this Master Class here.

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About The Author

Nicole DiRocco

Nicole DiRocco, founder of Dating With Grace, is devoted to helping executive women have the confidence and skills to attract a healthy, extraordinary loving relationship. A recovering human resources executive, Nicole is a certified dating and relationship coach, blogger, global speaker and chocolate enthusiast. Nicole understands the challenges facing women in the business world and how working in such an environment can influence how women approach dating and relationships. Knowing that it is in being in your feminine grace that will attract the right man, Nicole supports smart, savvy professional women single again after a long relationship or divorce gain the know-how they need to date successfully and attract love from the inside out. Nicole writes for Huffington Post, Dating Advice, Digital Romance, and is featured in Bustle. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.